Defining Your Happiness

Happiness is a deeply personal pursuit, unique to each individual. It's not about conforming to others' definitions but understanding what genuinely brings joy to your life. Happy individuals don't hope for happiness to magically appear; they proactively make it happen. A useful strategy involves keeping a journal, recording moments that ignite joy, and actively working towards manifesting those moments into reality. By identifying and focusing on what truly brings happiness, one can take meaningful steps to eliminate sources of dissatisfaction and cultivate a fulfilling life.

**Embrace Simple Pleasures:**  

Genuine happiness isn't solely reliant on monumental events; it thrives in the small, seemingly insignificant moments. Happy people derive joy from completing tasks, engaging in pleasant conversations, or simply savoring the beauty of nature. By becoming a curious observer, one can find wonder in the minutiae of daily life, appreciating the marvels of this extraordinary world. It's about shifting perspective to acknowledge and relish these fleeting yet significant moments that collectively contribute to a fulfilling life.

**Believe in Yourself:**  

Self-confidence plays a pivotal role in fostering happiness. Insecurities often hinder personal growth and hamper the ability to relish accomplishments. Happy individuals consciously choose to believe in themselves, enabling them to direct their energy toward seizing opportunities and nurturing meaningful relationships. It's about embracing self-assurance and relishing the journey towards success as much as achieving the end goal.

**Pursue Growth:**  

Continuous personal development and growth are central to happiness. Happy individuals are lifelong learners who actively seek out new challenges when they feel stagnated. They commit to a regimen of learning, whether through books, classes, or clubs, fostering intellectual growth and expanding their circle to connect with like-minded individuals. This pursuit of growth not only enhances knowledge but also enriches personal experiences, contributing to a more fulfilling life.

**Impact Others Positively:**  

Happy individuals radiate positivity, inspiring those around them. Some naturally uplift the atmosphere by their mere presence, while others actively seek to brighten others' days. They engage in activities and conversations that uplift spirits without imposing their joy onto others. Becoming an instigator and a leader, they create opportunities for others to share in the love for life, selflessly giving their time and energy to spread happiness.

**Practice Gratitude:**  

Living in a state of gratitude is a hallmark of true happiness. Happy individuals consciously recognize and appreciate the blessings they receive daily. They openly express their thankfulness, fostering an attitude of appreciation that shines through their love for life. Though it might feel unfamiliar at first, practicing gratitude not only impacts personal happiness but also inspires those around to discover their reasons for gratitude, contributing to a more joyful environment.

**Conclusion:**  

Genuine happiness demands effort, perseverance, and self-reflection. Despite the challenges, the pursuit of happiness is an immensely rewarding journey. Join in, embrace these principles, and unlock the brighter, more fulfilling side of life.

Renewing My Vow

     Every year, same time people start announcing RESOLUTIONS.  Two things about me: I have never been into announcing my next move nor have I been the type to have a resolution.  I think if there is a change I need to make, change it when I realize it instead of announcing my plans at the end of the year.  Meh, anywho…that is me tho.

FB has a way of showing your memories to you, to remind you of your past thoughts. Or even who you were in the past.  December 28, 2013, I read a post.  This woman said she married herself 7 years before her post.  If you know me, you know that I had all kinds of thoughts when I read it and afterward.  Those thoughts took me to vows and commitments.

    Commitment and vows differ in several aspects. Firstly, their scope varies—vows tend to focus on specific goals or aspects, while commitments are broader and more general. Secondly, formality differs; vows are formal and often used in religious or ceremonial settings, whereas commitments are more adaptable in different levels of formality. Thirdly, duration plays a role—vows imply enduring promises, whereas commitments can span short or long terms. Moreover, their emphasis differs; vows highlight the seriousness of the promise, while commitments underscore the effort and dedication required. Finally, connotation differs too—vows often carry religious or spiritual associations, while commitments lean towards practical or pragmatic tones.

    My mentor, Antonio T. Smith Jr., says,” How you do anything is how you do everything”.  At first I “processed” it.  The process is code for…I hear you, but do not care what you said. If I have told you that once, I have ignored you.  The second time I “process”, I am considering what you said. The third time I “process”, I become disagreeable.  That is what I have learned is called cognitive dissonance.  That is basically when your brain is fighting a different thought or possibility.

    How you do anything is how you do everything, was disrupting my entire identity, who I claim to be. I was fighting it! Seeing this post on December 28, 2023, had me evaluating myself. Does it seem that you are only committed as long as it is convenient? Are we committed for the long haul? Maybe our commitment is too large or too vague that is easy to get distracted or even not follow through.  A commitment has a time limit, like a contract. Now, a vow is something different.  Those vows that I made to myself as I wrote my second book, I welched on! I became inconsistent when times became rough and when things did not look like I thought that they should have looked. I changed my mind when I became afraid and did not know what next looked like. I became inconsistent. 

    As I sit here contemplating how I plan to renew my vows, I consider the peaks and valleys of my life.  I consider the times that I forgot what I was committed to because it was no longer convenient. They were too broad, too vague, not specific enough. My commitments had expired because I had terminated the agreement.  I am now responsible for the termination fees. Now, my vow is bold, audacious, specific, purposeful, and audacious.  My vows have cadence and build on a promise.  

 

 

What I wrote so many years ago

 

I promise to God to love myself unconditionally. I commit to cherish and take care of myself.  I promise to honor my worth by setting standards and goals.  I commit to value myself by not backing down or changing my standards because I believe it is difficult or people doubt my abilities.  I promise to work hard to pursue my dreams.  I promise to always come to you, my Source if I do not have a full understanding of my purpose.  I promise I will be still and listen to Your voice.  I vow not to let the living that is going on around me prevent me from finding my way back to You.  I promise to stay focused despite the obstacles that come.  I pledge to cherish myself: mind, body, and spirit.  I vow to consistently forgive myself as well as others.  I will make it my duty the be the be that I can be DAILY.

 

I owe it to myself to be consistent.

I owe it to myself to be disciplined.

I owe it to myself to stay focused.

 

Seeing Yourself How GOD Sees You.

     I hadn't blogged in a minute! By minute I mean a while, a long while. I have a bunch of unfinished things.  I have looked back at them, but at this moment they seem so unimportant. Right now, our lives are changing right before our eyes.  We are living in unprecedented times. I have been home from my government job for two months. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't enjoying myself. I am really enjoying this space that I am in.  I have had time to do things that are important to me. I have been able to talk to people that I hadn't spoken with in a while because I was too busy with work.  I have had the time and energy to invest in my business. Where am I going with this, right?! I am usually pretty sure of myself. I am confident in who I am. I think I am a pretty dope arse chick!
     Last week I spoke with my agent about an opportunity. I accepted the opportunity.  On Friday of last week she text me that not only would I be on the cover of a magazine with an American broadcast journalist and television talk show hostess BUT I also have a two page layout. Exciting, right?! Yeah, as I read the text I cried tears of joy. Then those tears of joy quickly became tears of hurt and sadness. WHY?!
     What was going on? What would change my mood like that? You remember I know that I am a pretty dope arse chick right? An insecurity popped up! I am at a different level that I have ever been! Why would I, a published author, speaker and coach care about what other people think or say about me. I am going to share something that I haven't shared before. I don't have the best relationship with my mother. THAT is where that came from.
     On the real, I rarely think about what anyone thinks about me, feel about me, thinks about what I do or feel about what I say.  But there is something about people that you love. No matter how much you grow, no matter how high you elevate there is something that kind of hurts when those that you think should be happy, proud or excited for you....they just are UNIMPRESSED.  As a matter of fact it can leave you feeling an overwhelm of emotions.
     So now what? What do you do? You can't live in that emotion. You can't let it stay there. You can't let it hinder you. For me, it was an off and on emotional roller for a few hours. The next thing that I a going to say is......the circle that you belong to matters.  It is so important to be connected to people that can support you. People that remind you who you are and who's you are. I have that in my sist
     It is can be easy to slip into that dark place aka your feelings.  Sometimes I wonder if it easier to go there instead of accepting that you deserve to celebrate yourself.

Walk in LOVE

The Love YOU Give

     When I was thinking on what I wanted to say, this title is what came to mind.  Then I scribbled it on a yellow Post it, so I wouldn't forget. I looked at it a few different times from the corner of my eye as I sat on my desk while I was sitting in my cubical. Why that?! Maybe it was a culmination of what I had been reading, listening to, maybe my mood.  I have been feeling like LOVE. I have been extra sensitive too. Sensitive at the level my emotions are just bubble up right at the surface.

    This is the "season" of love.  Our "heart" are more generous, forgiving, and more graceful. Love 

 People say that love doesn't hurt. I can agree but I can also disagree. God SO loved the world that he gave His ONLY begotten son. That is a deep love. His son didn't just die, that guy was KILLED. A horrible death out of love for us. If love were just that easy there would be no such thing as the Great Commandment...

36 "Teacher, which is the most important in the law of Moses?"37  Jesus replied," You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.'[a]38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important:' Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments

Matthew 22:36-40 (NLV)

  It is easy to love someone when you are in agreement. It is easy to love when they haven't: offended, hurt or even broken you. It is easy to love when they haven't let you down or even when they didn't meet the expectations that YOU had created for them. Walking in LOVE would be soooo easy if people did what we want them to do, what we expect them to do....right.  If it were that easy it probably wouldn't have be the Great Commandment.*Kanye Shrug

I must admit, I have been working on this particular piece for many month.  My heart has been in many places. I feel in love with someone. I have love issues with my family. One on my children is sick. I released a book. Love is hard. Love is hard when you have been hurt by people that you love the most. Love is hard when you expect to get the love back that you give.  

We, know how to say the right love words but not necessarily the LOVE action.  Love is an action word, a verb, it is something that you do. It is a kind gesture. It is picking up the phone and calling someone. It is speaking to that person that slept on the very same street that you rush past to get into your workplace. It is volunteering. It is giving to others, without expectation. 

My sister friend and I had a conversation about love. Love your neighbor as thyself.  What she said was on point. When we don't have love for ourself it is difficult to love others. In a time when everyone is screaming self-love, self-care, and invest in yourself.  

Petty MUCH?!

PettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPetttyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPettyPet

     Petty had become so popular. Then to accept, acknowledge or even be ok with the label of petty....I can't understand or even fathom, WHY?! The petty memes are funny. Petty replies are funny. Hell, petty is hilarious! I enjoy petty. I double over in laughter at some of the pettiness that I hear and see.  I have been petty. I have delighted in petty and not long after a different feeling overcomes me. The feeling of sadness and disappointment. Petty is all well and good until petty effects YOU. You are the recipient of petty.

     Petty- mean or ungenerous in small or trifling things: a petty person

              showing or caused by meanness of spirit.

     Petty is all fun and games until petty effect or impact you.  Sometimes we can become accustomed  to the little petty quips that we don't even realize that we are even doing it. I don't know how many times I have heard that petty doesn't hurt anyone. It does, it hurts the person that is on the receiving end of petty. You reap what you sow, karma is, well, you know who they say she is....there are many sayings that speak to what you give you get back and that isn't just positive.

     I often wonder why certain things happen to people. PETTY happens and when it does it isn't want it appears to be.  It is never what it appears to be. 

Love Language

     If you have been following my journey on Social Media, lately, you will notice I talk about love..... A LOT. I don't usually speak about love at this level but this is where my journey it taking me this time. Usually, I detour, skip, ignore the emotion or thought because with love some type of pain follows or even connected with that love. Love of people, places and things. This type of love is a romantic type of love. I choose not to share many thing but ESPECIALLY romance. Sometimes you, me*I, just want to keep ish to myself. Keeping it private not secret, so that I can enjoy it alone. Or in the back of my mind " if this ish doesn't work out that I won't have to tuck my tail or explain to anyone what happened."

A woman my age that isn't in a relationship or married has got to have something wrong with her. Women my age are quick to say," Jesus is my husband." Jesus is NOT my husband nor did he mean for me to die a bitter old lady with no spouse. I am single because men are intimidated by me. My favorite is I don't need a man. 😲

      I love you but I don't think you can love me the way that I need to be loved.  That is not something that common to hear because there is little to no understanding about love. In general, love is just love. That isn't the case. We all have a way that we naturally like to be loved and give love.

A Happy Heart

The Love of God

     For the past few months I have been going through some serious changes.  When I say serious, I mean serious. I did more than lost weight. You know, everyone has a heartbreak or heartbreaks. There have been so many things in my life that have broken my heart. PEOPLE, people have broken my heart. The people that I have loved the most broke my heart! The changes that I have been experiencing have me feeling changed, free, DAMN an overwhelm of forgiveness and love. There are new people in my life. There has been a reintroduction of a people in my life. I let go of people, place in things. I saw that people that said they loved me either didn't love me, couldn't love me like I needed to be love, didn't understand love or straight up LIED about the love they had for me. Damn.... right?! That right there was deep and eye opening, all of the reasons.
     I came to the realization that all of the people that I said I had forgiven for breaking my heart, hurting my feeling or even offending me in the least little bit...I hadn't forgiven them. I had just IGNORED their arses! I hadn't blocked them on social media because they had to see me living well and doing well. There are two people that I had actually blocked from calling or texting. Their level of betrayal, to me, was the worst.  Why?! Because, I love them. You just have a different expectation of people that you give your love to.
     Last weekend, I had the opportunity to do something that I enjoy...volunteering.  It makes my heart happy to do something for someone else. Interestingly enough, that is one of my Love Languages (Acts of Service). I have volunteered in different capacities  for years. The feeling I get from giving is euphoric and addictive. This time, it was different. I was working hard. I was happy. I was smiling....I mean, for real smiling. My real HAPPY smile. Oddly enough, I hugged people that I didn't know. Must have been that overwhelm of forgiveness and love that I have been feeling 🤣🤣🤣  Seriously, my mood is better. I am more calm. I have been doing things outside of what I would normally do. Things that would upset me, just seem to make me laugh. I am not real quick to tell a person off, BUT I will...just not as quickly.  I smile a LOT more.

15 "But your, O God, are both tender and kind, not easily angered, immerse in love and you never never quit."

Psalms 86:15 MSG

With age, comes growth and wisdom....HOPEFULLY.  My prayer has always been and will always be for God to put me in the mix with people, places and things that will help and not hurt me.  Fill me daily with Him. In these broken places fill me like the  Kintsugi. I believe He has and He continues to mend me in those broken places. He has been filling me in those places with forgiveness and love. He has been filling me with mercy and grace. He has been feeling with with kindness.  The love of God will cause you to walk outside of your personality and walk IN morality, character and humility. 

20 If anyone boast, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person that he can see, how can he love the God he can't see?

1 John 4:20

#TheLoveofGod #WalkinLove 

#kintsugi #BeDifferent

#BeLove #BeGreat #BeAuthentic