Seeing Yourself How GOD Sees You.

     I hadn't blogged in a minute! By minute I mean a while, a long while. I have a bunch of unfinished things.  I have looked back at them, but at this moment they seem so unimportant. Right now, our lives are changing right before our eyes.  We are living in unprecedented times. I have been home from my government job for two months. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't enjoying myself. I am really enjoying this space that I am in.  I have had time to do things that are important to me. I have been able to talk to people that I hadn't spoken with in a while because I was too busy with work.  I have had the time and energy to invest in my business. Where am I going with this, right?! I am usually pretty sure of myself. I am confident in who I am. I think I am a pretty dope arse chick!
     Last week I spoke with my agent about an opportunity. I accepted the opportunity.  On Friday of last week she text me that not only would I be on the cover of a magazine with an American broadcast journalist and television talk show hostess BUT I also have a two page layout. Exciting, right?! Yeah, as I read the text I cried tears of joy. Then those tears of joy quickly became tears of hurt and sadness. WHY?!
     What was going on? What would change my mood like that? You remember I know that I am a pretty dope arse chick right? An insecurity popped up! I am at a different level that I have ever been! Why would I, a published author, speaker and coach care about what other people think or say about me. I am going to share something that I haven't shared before. I don't have the best relationship with my mother. THAT is where that came from.
     On the real, I rarely think about what anyone thinks about me, feel about me, thinks about what I do or feel about what I say.  But there is something about people that you love. No matter how much you grow, no matter how high you elevate there is something that kind of hurts when those that you think should be happy, proud or excited for you....they just are UNIMPRESSED.  As a matter of fact it can leave you feeling an overwhelm of emotions.
     So now what? What do you do? You can't live in that emotion. You can't let it stay there. You can't let it hinder you. For me, it was an off and on emotional roller for a few hours. The next thing that I a going to say is......the circle that you belong to matters.  It is so important to be connected to people that can support you. People that remind you who you are and who's you are. I have that in my sist
     It is can be easy to slip into that dark place aka your feelings.  Sometimes I wonder if it easier to go there instead of accepting that you deserve to celebrate yourself.