Where my GIRLS at!

                                        


In the social sciences, the word "clique" is used to describe a group of 2 to 12 (averaging 5 or 6) "persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting".Interacting with cliques is part of normative social development regardless of gender, ethnicity, or popularity. Although cliques are most commonly studied during adolescence and middle childhood, they exist in all age groups.
Functionally, a clique is indistinguishable from an obedience-cult. Membership in a clique always requires the surrender of individuality

     I recently have been reading up on some things about girls/women and cliques.  I liked the definition above, best.  Another thing about should be included is the fact that ADULT women also participate in Cliques. These groups can be positive or negative influence in our lives. 
It is slowly becoming the silent killer of women.  In our struggle to prove our strength and independence, we have traded in kindness, love, compassion, dignity and respect for mean malicious and disrespect.  The trade off has allowed us to pass this broken legacy to our daughters.  Our daughters have learned to be mean and catty by watching us.  This is their understanding of a normal part of being a female.  They grow the seed that we have planted and plant the same seed into future generations.

TO BREAK THE CYCLE:
We must make a conscious effort validate ALL WOMEN, friend or not.  If we don’t make this effort we will continue to move in cliques of hostility, suspicion and pain.

             

·         Talking about each other

·         Fighting over men

·         Joining female gangs*common places* work, church, neighborhood.

·         Undermining each other

·         Competing against each other

·         Disrespecting boundaries

·         Crossing boundaries

·         Exploiting our friendship

It all begins within YOU!!!

Let's talk. 

See you next week

Authentic SELF

     When I think about womanhood, I think about Proverbs 31:10-31.  A good woman is hard to find but she is priceless.  There are so many women that say that a good man is hard to find.  I would say that it is about the same for both men and women.  There are some of us that really believe that we are good, but are we.  Not many of us will admit to our short comings and even fewer of us are willing to change.  We are more likely to accept that someone else has the problem versus look in the mirror.
    Our problems are festering on the inside and oozing out. From the horrible things that we are doing to ourselves to the nastiness that we are infecting our daughters with. There are so many disgusting things that we do to the girlfriends we say we love. Beautiful women with such ugliness inside. Who are you, really? Is the woman that you present yourself to be the real you. Are you being your AUTHENTIC SELF?

  I recently interviewed Stylicia Bowden

Authentic Self*Stylicia

Me: What is being your authentic self to you?

Stylicia: When you are your authentic self you are able to be true to yourself by being real with yourself. The only way to be your authentic self is getting to the core of who you are by dealing with your issues.

Me: What does womanhood mean to you?

Stylicia: Womanhood is not defined by age but it is the pivotal moment of maturity by the actions you display in all facets of life.

Me: I recently read your blog, in particular, Beauty and the Beast. Do you think this is a factor that drives a girl/woman?

Stylicia: I believe anger is a factor that drives anyone into a place of being uncontrollable and not utilizing sound judgement. It is important to balance the anger by learning to overcome each situation with peace. I believe in womanhood especially in our sisterhood we allow irrelevant things such as anger, jealousy, hatred etc. drive us apart.

Me: Do you think that women have lost what being a woman is about?

Stylicia: Yes

Me:Why or why not?

Stylicia: I believe women do not know who they are so they search to find who they really are through their experiences, TV, magazines and more. Women who do not deal with their baggage can damage an innocent bystander. 

The entire interview in my upcoming book.......
 
Be sure to comment
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK

Stylicia's Bio

Poet/Author/Blogger/Speaker 

www.styliciabowden.com 

   Ms. Bowden was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, "The Motor City" where she started creative writing at the young age of eight years old. She wrote poems, plays, short stories and songs throughout her childhood. Creative writing was a way to express her thoughts and emotions freely without judgment from the outside world. As she grew writing became a language she often use to translate internal feelings on paper. However, after spending nine years in the military she used her traveling experiences to develop her writing skills. Before exiting the United States Navy she went on to complete four self published poetic literary works entitled: The Princess Within: The Soul Of A Woman, Soulseeker, All About Him: The Experience and The Writer’s Block: The Sound Of The Spoken Word.

    In Stylicia's budding career she has appeared on numerous blogs, radio and TV shows. Ms. Bowden poetic work has been featured on Essence "My Black Is Beautiful" website for her poetic piece entitled "Blaque Girls Rock". Ms. Bowden has also appeared in February, April and July 2012 issue of Essence Magazine. However since her career has taken flight she has produced and hosted her own poetry show in Charleston, SC entitled "A Night Of Poetic Elegance" for two consecutive years. In order to take her poetic vernacular to another level Ms. Bowden also produced and completed two spoken word albums entitled "The Sound Of The Spoken Word" and "The Anthology Of My Soul". Stylicia's ultimate desire is to continue to allow her poetic writing gift to make room for her God given artistry to bring her in the company of other like minded individuals. Her passion for her artistry allows her to continue to set standards and break barriers in her writing genre.

Literary Interviews via Radio/Internet/TV:

The Tammy Show (Comcast Channel 2) Charleston, SC- August 7^th, 2008

Low County Live (Channel 4) Charleston, SC-August 17,2010

Love of Spoken Word & Neo-Soul(Blog Talk Radio) –October 21, 2010

Vox Poetica 15 minutes of Poetry w/ Annmarie Lockhart –November 11^th, 2010

The Beautiful Butterfly Show-September 16^th, 2011

Live Talk With Lynette Magic 107.3FM Charleston, SC-Oct 2, 2011

WHFR-89.3 FM Radio “Strictly Gospel w/Andy Parks” Interview Dearborn, MI-July 3rd, 2011

Lowcountry Parent Magazine- November 1st, 2012

Guest Blog Featurettes

The Proverbs 31 Woman

http://tinyurl.com/8bwomlv

College Girl Inc.

http://tinyurl.com/9p7ktxr

Awards

1st Annual Spoken Word Billboard Awards (Individual Poetic Piece), Canton Michigan

What is womanhood to You?

   When I think about womanhood, I think about the generations of women in my family....my great-grandmother, grandmother, mommy.  When I think about other women in my life I think about my mother's best friend, my fifth/eighth grade teacher, 4-H leader, my best friend's mom. When I think about womanhood I wonder where it has gone and what it will be like in the future for my nieces, my daughter, and their friends.
  What has happened to womanhood? Has it been lost to technology, selfishness, independence and insecurities? Where are the grandmothers that taught us that a lady must be a lady at all times? There are more and more girl fights, more and more girls going to jail. Along with that, there are more single mothers than ever.  Although teen pregnancy has gone down, it has now been glamorized.
   How can we teach our girls to be a better women, friend(s) and  significant other(s), if we are unsure of who we are? Who are you, who am I , who are we?  Are you who people see? Do you show people who you think they want to see?  Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
  Have we become so lost in the verbiage of "old school/new school". Old school seems to be a curse. Respect for yourself, respect for others, love, kindness,loyalty,friendship. compassion and nurturing  all of the emotions that made us women. It seems that we have traded "up" to new school independence. This new school independence has mutated our old school womanhood. So we will end with a question to reflect on....

What is womanhood to YOU?

Please be sure to comment.
See you next week!!!