The Break-UP

    It is time for me to say good bye.  I know that you are thinking to yourself, why.  All I can think is, WHY NOT?!  Remaining connected to you serves me, NO purpose at all.  There are things that I have to do that won't allow me to stay connected to you.  You are holding me back from being the Woman, Mother, Author, Friend,Daughter, Sister and Wife that I can be, that I was created to be. For many years, you and I have had this on again off again love/hate relationship. Our highs have really been high but when we are low, whew, we were low. I don't believe that you will just leave on your own. So, I have made the decision that I am leaving YOU!!!
     This morning I woke up with a smile on a my face and joy in my heart. I giggled in delight when I turned over and I didn't see your twisted ugly face. Good morning Sunshine is what you used to say as I would turn over and put my pillow on my face. Oh, God I don't want to get up! Aww, ish I don't feel like this today. What the eff....do I really have to. TODAY, today is a different day.
    My feet hit the floor and my eyes twinkled. I mouthed Thank you Father. I said good morning to my children and as they went down the stairs to leave for school,"I love you have a good day son", "I love you have a good day sweet girl"
     As I sit in the kitchen having a drink of orange juice, I begin to wonder what took me so long to leave you. What was holding me back? I thought about all the times that I started things and didn't finish. I started school three times...didn't complete. This time I graduate in December. The book that I started years ago. Mah, that didn't count because I was bitter writing that. My "real" book is about to be released. The relationships that I messed up, incomplete and failed.  All the times I put up a wall to protect myself. Was I protecting myself or was I hiding. Hiding from what people would think about me. Maybe more fearful of what I would show them about me.
  I go back upstairs to get ready for work.  I look in the mirror and I smile...I had to cheat on my FEARS to get the strength to break up with my DOUBTS. Now that I am  Engaged To my FAITH & Married  to my DREAMS. I can see myself for who I truly am. My Authentic self, the way that God created me!

MUAAAAH