Priceless Woman

    I was so blessed by a Woman's Fellowship that I attended at my church on Friday. It took the Virtuous Woman to a different level, for me.  I have been studying Proverbs 31:10-31 for more than a year.  I know you are probably thinking why so long.  Every time that I dug in I was able to pull something new.  This woman was thebomb.com.   She was: an entrepreneur, a caregiver,  mother, wife, owned things.  This woman was something serious!!  She took care of her help and she gave to the less fortunate. She took care of her children and her husband. It was interesting to me that they understood her value and worth, therefore they appreciated her.  What I didn't pull from my study is SERVICE and SACRIFICE.  This what made the Virtuous Woman "price far above rubies".
    Take some time and think about some influential women....First Lady Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Princess Diana and the list goes on. These women are influence not because of money or power but because of  SERVICE and SACRIFICE. 
     A few days after that fellowship, I called one of my close friends and reminded her of her value.  That same day I text another friend that she is PRICELESS and I love her. She text me back. I am pretty sure that she didn't know what the entire message was about.  When we spoke, I explained to her why I sent that message.
     The thing is, sometimes you have to remind those that you connect with that you appreciate and value them.  Sometimes you have to remind your friend that she is valuable.  We are not taught that we are valuable, therefore it isn't uncommon for a woman to not have the understanding of her value or even that she is valuable.  We are not valuable to ourselves our value is to others.  We are the givers of life.  We bring a smile to our children's face. We bring joy to our mates heart.
     How is my value diminished? My value is diminished every time I am disrespected. My value has nothing really to do with me it has more to do with the person that is interacting with me. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Does that make sense?   I can diminish my own value or worth if I lower my standards. I have marketed myself down, discounted myself.  Simply put, value is diminished when you put a 2.5 million dollar mansion in the middle of the projects.
     When you aren't living the life that you are created to live then your value isn't the same.  We were all created for a purpose! What were you created to do? What will happen if you don't accomplish what you were CREATED to do? THIS is your value and worth.  We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.  We are all created with special gifts and talents. What is will propel you into PRICELESS is how you choose to....

  Sacrifice and Serve

   

Messy

  In this new part of my journey, I speak often about cleaning up your mess.  I make mention of being messy and fake.  Well, I am going to share something emotional and even scary.  This past weekend I was working on my book, almost complete. 
   In my journey through Womanhood, I have hurt people although unintentional.  That is because I was hurt, insecure and inadequacy. I chose to adorn my self with many thing, mostly a false sense of SWAG. Hair, nails, clothes, shoes even the way that I walked and talked was used to cover up all of the things that I didn't want anyone to know about me.  I am talented,smart. I can do anything, unfortunately, because of my insecurities, hurts and inadequacy I never completed anything. I could incomplete the hell out of anything. I have learned that I was fearful of succeeding. Stupid,huh.
   In 2008, I moved to Charlestons,SC to be with the man that I thought that I would spend the rest of my life with, Adrian.  Six months after moving here, on his birthday he broke up with me.  Still in 2009 and 2010 I was still hurt and missed him. We kind of tried to work things out but I still had my issues. Just another example of me starting something that I didn't complete.  I got into another relationship,Jay. A whirlwind, the chemistry, connection and emotion took me by surprise.  It actually took us both by surprise.  Three weeks into us dating he said he was looking for a wife. Six weeks into the relationship he wanted to know if I had thought about spending the rest of HIS life with him. He was 10 years older. After 4 months of dating, NOT mating(no sex) , he asked me to be with him exclusively.  He wanted me to have a child and I was willing to consider having this man's child. Alas, because I was incomplete on the previous relationship...I got an incomplete on this one.
   So back to the emotional scary thing.  I have learned that I have to apologize for what I have done wrong and thank the person for what they meant to me.  This past weekend I sent a text to Adrian.  I really wasn't sure how it was gonna go but I had to make a mends in my heart.I I text that I really appreciated him in my life, thank you.  Although it didn't work out I accept my responsibility.  He text he was sorry and thank you...he should have handled us better.  I cried. I cried like a big baby.  I was able to speak my heart. Two days we text. I don't know how he felt but I know I was happy and sad.  Towards the end, to me, it was comfortable. I felt FREE.
   Next, I text Johnathan. He didn't respond at all but that is typical...lol He was a hokie pokie personality. Not the kind of man that I was used to being with.  He had good qualities but he had things that I didn't particularly care for.  Then I called my younger two children's dad.  That was a mistake.  Sometimes when cleaning up your mess the person that you are trying to clear your mess with doesn't want to let it go. That is THEIR issue.  So finally, to clean up my relationship mess, I am going to call Jay.  I am not really prepared for that but I wasn't prepared for Adrian either.
    You have to do some hard things to move forward to your newness.  I don't want to sweep anything under the rug anymore.  I don't want to just shove my mess in the closet and force it close and hope that my stuff doesn't come tumbling out.  I have finally gotten so tired of incomplete that I have decided to complete.
  So stop adorning yourself with STUFF to cover up your mess. Fix your mess and to become who your were created to be.

 

*GUEST BLOGGER* Rochelle Richards

The Importance of Believing in Yourself

In today's world, many of us  are taking stock of our lives and making choices daily. We look at where we are, where we came from and where we thought we'd be by now. Many of us are in professions we never thought we'd be in; in relationships (or out of)  we thought would turn out differently and some are losing faith and hope in all the dreams they have for themselves. Now don't get me wrong, in no way am I excluding myself because I'm human and I too have dreams yet to be fulfilled.

I came across this article by chance while checking a page on Facebook of a high school classmate of mine. The link caught my attention, because the first line simply said.. " Never underestimate what's in store for you. Here are nine ways to believe in your greater purpose ". So being curious, I clicked the link, read the article and loved it . I simply had to share the positiveness with others.. Here they are :)

Nine Ways to Keep Believing

Identify Your Values

What do you live for? It’s hard to know where you’re going unless you know who you are. Identify and prioritize your values. It’ll be clearer to you what you need in life (and therefore, what’s most important) opposed to what you simply want.

Train Your Belief System

Everything you will have in your life will come about because of your belief that they’re possible. The first step to training your belief system is to use affirmations. Affirmations like “Why am I so confident? Why do I believe in myself? Why do I trust my intuition?” are empowering questions that focus your mind on why you are, in fact, confident.

Watch Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

It’s one of the most inspirational speeches I’ve watched on having faith in your purpose. This video is a different kind of soul food!

 Be Bold

It’s important to realize that no one has ever fallen while stepping out on faith. I think about this single point daily.

Toughen Your Skin

No one ever succeeds without being rejected (many times). Expect to hear the word “no” time after time, and you’ll be ready to overcome, time after time.

Accept Compliments

This is critical towards bolstering your self-esteem, which is an imperative part of stepping into your purpose. Next time someone gives you a compliment, resist the urge to dismiss it, or think to yourself that the person didn’t mean it. Instead, imagine it is true, and you might just find that it is.

Surround Yourself With People Who Believe In You

Jim Rohn says you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – he has a point. The common denominator I find in people who excel is that they surround themselves with folks who not only excel in their own right but believe in the potential of their friends.

Fake It Until You Make It

This begins with simply speaking confidently and assertively (even if you you’re not). By simply speaking in a strong manner, you will see you have greater control over your ability to influence. As a result, your actual confidence will grow.

Force Yourself Into the Habit of Believing

Some people are born with an innate self-confidence, but most of us are not that lucky. It’s a good thing we can teach ourselves new habits. Most experts agree it only takes 30 days to change your behavior. Just like a good exercise program, use the suggestions I gave to map out over the next 30 days what you will do daily to boost your “belief muscle.”

 If anyone wants to read the full article, here's the link: http://www.essence.com/2012/03/02/believe-in-yourself-and-your-plan/. I  hope this entry will help motivate others into being more positive, knowing that once they continue to believe in themselves and in their dreams, all that is needed is hard work and dedication to achieve them. Be motivated to keep on being elevated!


Look for Rochelle Richards book coming SOON


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