Every year, same time people start announcing RESOLUTIONS. Two things about me: I have never been into announcing my next move nor have I been the type to have a resolution. I think if there is a change I need to make, change it when I realize it instead of announcing my plans at the end of the year. Meh, anywho…that is me tho.
FB has a way of showing your memories to you, to remind you of your past thoughts. Or even who you were in the past. December 28, 2013, I read a post. This woman said she married herself 7 years before her post. If you know me, you know that I had all kinds of thoughts when I read it and afterward. Those thoughts took me to vows and commitments.
Commitment and vows differ in several aspects. Firstly, their scope varies—vows tend to focus on specific goals or aspects, while commitments are broader and more general. Secondly, formality differs; vows are formal and often used in religious or ceremonial settings, whereas commitments are more adaptable in different levels of formality. Thirdly, duration plays a role—vows imply enduring promises, whereas commitments can span short or long terms. Moreover, their emphasis differs; vows highlight the seriousness of the promise, while commitments underscore the effort and dedication required. Finally, connotation differs too—vows often carry religious or spiritual associations, while commitments lean towards practical or pragmatic tones.
My mentor, Antonio T. Smith Jr., says,” How you do anything is how you do everything”. At first I “processed” it. The process is code for…I hear you, but do not care what you said. If I have told you that once, I have ignored you. The second time I “process”, I am considering what you said. The third time I “process”, I become disagreeable. That is what I have learned is called cognitive dissonance. That is basically when your brain is fighting a different thought or possibility.
How you do anything is how you do everything, was disrupting my entire identity, who I claim to be. I was fighting it! Seeing this post on December 28, 2023, had me evaluating myself. Does it seem that you are only committed as long as it is convenient? Are we committed for the long haul? Maybe our commitment is too large or too vague that is easy to get distracted or even not follow through. A commitment has a time limit, like a contract. Now, a vow is something different. Those vows that I made to myself as I wrote my second book, I welched on! I became inconsistent when times became rough and when things did not look like I thought that they should have looked. I changed my mind when I became afraid and did not know what next looked like. I became inconsistent.
As I sit here contemplating how I plan to renew my vows, I consider the peaks and valleys of my life. I consider the times that I forgot what I was committed to because it was no longer convenient. They were too broad, too vague, not specific enough. My commitments had expired because I had terminated the agreement. I am now responsible for the termination fees. Now, my vow is bold, audacious, specific, purposeful, and audacious. My vows have cadence and build on a promise.
What I wrote so many years ago
I promise to God to love myself unconditionally. I commit to cherish and take care of myself. I promise to honor my worth by setting standards and goals. I commit to value myself by not backing down or changing my standards because I believe it is difficult or people doubt my abilities. I promise to work hard to pursue my dreams. I promise to always come to you, my Source if I do not have a full understanding of my purpose. I promise I will be still and listen to Your voice. I vow not to let the living that is going on around me prevent me from finding my way back to You. I promise to stay focused despite the obstacles that come. I pledge to cherish myself: mind, body, and spirit. I vow to consistently forgive myself as well as others. I will make it my duty the be the be that I can be DAILY.
I owe it to myself to be consistent.
I owe it to myself to be disciplined.
I owe it to myself to stay focused.
