A New Weight Loss Program

GUEST BLOGGER***Karen Thomas****

With the new year just weeks away, change seems to be on everyone's mind.
Many see the new year as a time to do things differently or a new chance to change the things that they feel are keeping them from living their best life. So they make New Year's resolutions which brings promises of new love, new money and a new life.  One of the top resolutions that is often made is the resolve to lose weight.  People start the year out meal planning, starting diets and exercise programs all in hopes of losing those few extra pounds, only to find themselves 2-3 months into the new year giving up.
I'd like to submit to you that perhaps there is a different type of weight loss that needs to take place in this new year that may help with not only losing pounds but also with your finances, love life and business as well. 
This weight loss will get you in touch with the Authentic you.   I call this emotional weight loss.    With this weight loss regimen, you don't have to change your physical diet but you will have to change your mental diet. Let's take a look at this plan.  

What do I need to lose?

1. Negative self-talk.    What do you say to you when you make a mistake?
2. Naysayers.  Who do you allow to speak to you about your dreams?
3. Procrastination.  Procrastination can be the killer of dreams
4. Unproductive Relationships.  Do they cause you to grow and be better?
5. Fear.  This will keep you stuck. 

How do I lose this weight (the exercise program)?

1. Change how you speak to you. When you feel the urge to speak negatively about you, stop, breathe, and change your words...say the opposite.
2. Change your confidants.  Don't tell your dreams to those who don't believe in you or can't dream with you.
3. Take action.  Stop taking so much time contemplating and thinking about what to do and just do it. 
4. Change your friendships and relationships.  Understand that everyone is not equipped to be in your starting line-up (sports reference).  Some are meant to be on the bench, in the crowd and some are cheerleaders.  Learn who is supposed to play which position and put them there. 
5. Do things that scare you. I have found this is one of the ways to overcome some of your fears; the others, you'll just have to close your eyes and leap.

How do I maintain the weight loss (the meal plan)?

1.  Daily Affirmations. Say something great about you daily
2. Vision Board.  Write the vision so that you can put your eyes on it daily. Get it ingrained in your mind.
3. Continue to move forward. Give your goals dates and let nothing distract you.
4.  Don't be afraid or feel guilty about letting people go. Understand that everyone has a purpose in your life, figure out what their purpose is and move accordingly.
5.  Imagine what you could do if there was no fear. 

This is just a brief outline on how to get started to what is  your most important weight loss. This weight loss can not only lead you to losing physical weight but also losing the mental and emotional weight clears the way for finances, greater relationships and careers to reach you. Most of all it opens up the door to being your Authentic self!

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Karen Thomas, Founder/CEO of Sistas Healed & Empowered , is a natural motivator and talented life coach.  She uses her talents to help women make positive life changing decisions while coaching them to find peace during transition. Karen spent time working with women in transitional housing and public housing to help them gain independence after homelessness and incarceration.  As a mother of one daughter, Karen is a very active mother to not only her biological child but to many other children across the country.  Karen’s vision incorporates her desire to see women excel in life and overcome obstacles that have the potential to stifle their growth.  As she uses her own life experiences to teach and coach women she does so with transparency and an authentic spirit of love, compassion, and understanding.  Today Karen continues to offer her expertise to women everywhere through individual coaching, seminars, webinars, and speaking engagements. 

To contact Karen, please do so via email at sheismybiz@gmail.com
Twitter: @she_atx
Facebook: www.facebook.com/sistashealedandempowered

The Power to Re-invent Yourself

GUEST BLOGGER***Alicia Buchanan****

New year, new you, right?  It’s totally cliché and everyone is saying it. But waiting for a new year resolution is not always promised to us. You’ve played the game all year long, been the good girl, helped everyone else. Now it is time to help yourself get off that emotional rollercoaster of life happening. 

Why not get a fresh start today and do what you planned to do last year? So what, things didn’t go according to your plan.  Start fresh again.  Relinquish your power to God and let go of disappointment. Disappointment can paralyze your dreams.   It is related to failure and not too far from fear.  Kill it now. Do something bold.

Whether this means getting a new job, moving across town, taking that trip abroad, starting your own business, letting go of a toxic relationship or letting go of stuff that doesn’t work for you, do something courageous that you have never done. 

You have the right to live your best life like Oprah says. 

No one is perfect, even the strong Black woman needs help most of the time.  Contrary to our cultural conditions to remain silent about what we are facing or think that our stories do not matter, it is not harmful to embrace our true reality. 

Don’t fall victim to comparing yourself to anyone else.  They have their own story.  This is all about you and you have permission to be selfish.

Honestly, outward appearances and impressions are deceiving.  Most men and women strive to have what they feel is the perfect marriage, kids, house, luxury  vehicle, six figure salary and a good relationship with God and overall healthy wellbeing.
 
Again these outward appearances can be deceiving.

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is not always wise to compare the outward appearances of other people’s lives to your own.

Falling into the trap of wanting what other people have can be deadly. Yet, not dreaming at all can be just as deadly.  Awaken your own dreams.  Purpose it in your heart to be all you can be.

If you have lived a comfortable safe life all of your life, this may be a hard pill to swallow.

Let’s start from the beginning.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved” (Psalm 55:22).

 

 

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Alicia Buchanan is CEO of Golden Opportunity to Develop and Alicia Buchanan Ministries – a personal development connoisseur and faith based mental health support for women and families, Founder of the Soulful Sister Searching Movement, Author of From Exile to EMBRACE: 7 Secrets to Lead a Happier Life Through Love and Forgiveness, life/relationship coach and transformational speaker.

Connect with me: http://aliciabuchanan.com/

 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1aliciabuchanan

 Twitter: https://twitter.com/1aliciabuchanan

 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/1aliciabuchanan/

 

How to Maintain Your Authenticity When All Hell Is Breaking Loose.

           Not very long ago I woke up and realized that I have a few gray hair.  I suppose that happens.  I am 47.  I did become a Mei Mei in September a little more than a year ago. Hmmm, I wonder is it is because I had been letting my hair grow out....I am looking OLD, older than I ever have.  One of the supervisors looked at a picture of me and said," you look so young".  Well damn, that was just months ago!!!  I couldn't have aged that quickly!  Ok, haircut here I come. See you soon Trina! My clothes are KINDA fitting ok.  Pinky said that I am looking older.  I looked in the mirror....I do look like I am aging. It ain't looking too graceful either!  I have good genes. This isn't suppose to be happening. 
          I have been having some stresses, strains and struggles.  It is certainly showing.  My kids...TRIPPIN'. My oldest niece, DEFINATELY has lost her mind!!  Business things, behind!  Work...smh, I won't comment. What the FRENCHTOAST?! Wait onnnnne flipping minute! I am doing everything that I am suppose to do. I am doing everything that I can do. This has been going on for months.  The only thing that has been consistent is INCONSISTENCY.
S L O W D O W N
Are you serious? Is this a tingling in my right arm?!
Let's rewind.....inhale and exhale
Think what is going on here?
I have always believed that things happen for a reason.  The reason, many times has nothing to do with us nor should it be taken personal. Yeah, I believe in forces beyond the natural and their attacks but he isn't making that much happen. He is just messing around enough to discourage me, to block me, to prevent me from moving into my destiny, to put the fire out in my passion.
SO, how can I maintain my authenticity when ALL HELL APPEARS TO BE BREAKING LOOSE.
          Connect with positive people. People that will breath freshness into your spirit. People that will infuse you with positivity. People that will challenge you to ignore the temporal. This is a period that a GREAT change is about to occur. How do I know?  I know because I have believe in bible promises.
          Do what you love. Do you even know what you love anymore?! Do you remember that thing that made your heart smile? We spend a lot of time talking about what we don't want to do, say, see or even happen but there is less time spent on what we want to happen.
          Take a risk and try something new or adventurous. There are times that you hear your mind say," try it, do it". Listen and operate in doing that new or adventurous. Take a class, invest the money! Cut and or color your hair! Take yourself on a drip! Go to that new restaurant that you have passed a million times and wondered what the food is like.
          Do something for yourself.  At a month ago I got a haircut and color. If you have been flowing me than you know that my hair has been purple for two years. I cut the left side and added purple extensions.  I purchased a round trip ticket home to Chicago and a concert in celebration of my 47th birthday AND my new found freedom. Many times as mothers, as women, we put everyone else FIRST....then we neglect our needs wishes and desires.  In the event that we do purchase or do something for our self we feel guilty, ashamed and will go as far as returning or even consider returning whatever it was that we purchased for ourselves. Some of us will take it back and have the feeling of satisfaction as we shuffle out of the store with return receipt in hand and stuff the change into our purse.
The world will forever go on around you! Your self talk is strong, on the negative side. Cast your cares on HIM because He cares for you. Peace of mind comes piece by piece. Your strength is in your knowledge of the FACT.....You are a perfect idea in God's mind.

Be Authentic
Be Great

      

Feeling Some Kind of Way

I have heard that phrase "feeling some type of way" for a few years. I never really understood what that meant. How could you NOT know what way you feel? That doesn't make sense to me. It is ok to have an emotion. Live that emotion: anger, fear, hurt, disappointment, discouraged....whatever that feeling is, FEEL IT!!! Emotions aren't weak. Emotions are HUMAN. Emotions are what set us aside from all other animals on the planet.
Do you not want to feel vulnerable? Is there something wrong with feeling vulnerable? Are you concerned what people would think of you if you said what it is that you feel? Do you know what you are feeling?
I think there are several reasons that people in general and woman....specifically: women have been taught that there is no strength in vulnerability, women are concerned how others SEE them, woman are concerned what others THINK of them, woman are concerned with what others FEEL about them. We have lost our nature to nurture and because of that we FEEL SOME KIND OF WAY when it comes to our emotions.
We aren't safe nor secure in who we are, therefore it is difficult for us to accept the emotion that we feel. We are ill equipt to live in our authentic emotion which makes it difficult to live an AUTHENTIC lifestyle. The fast few days I had been at a level of emotion that I didn't understand. There were a multitude of emotions swirling around, so much so it activated a bout with eczema. I was angry, frustrated, sad and crying. That wasn't " some kind of way" that was EXACTLY what I said it was feeling! I was sad because I looked at a memory of a gift that a received from someone that I loved in the past. I was frustrated and with my children. I was crying because I was overwhelmed.
It is normal to have emotions. Your options are to decide to have your emotions or let your emotions have you. Letting your emotions have you means that they control how you operate your day to day life. Many times our emotions can betray us. They betray us every time we are unsure of the emotion, why we have the emotion every time we make a decision based on that TEMPORARY feeling.
I am angry. I am sad. I am disappointed. Why is it always the "negative emotions" that are labeled with that verbiage?Stop saying," I feel some type of way". Say...I am not sure what this is then INVESTIGATE what it is and why you feel that way. When you take the opportunity, it allows you to learn more about yourself and how best to navigate in that moment. In the even that feeling erupts again, you know what that feeling is and are better prepared to operate. Learn how to accept the emotion and even accept what caused the emotion to erupt.
Today is NOW, tomorrow has passed stop missing out on life, "feeling some kind of way"!
I love you
#BeHappy
#BeAuthentic
#BeGreat

When Is Enough, Enough?

When Is Enough Enough?

It is so interesting how we live a life of more than enough but it isn't enough. That doesn't make sense does it? We have had enough of people but still maintain connection with them. We have had enough of work yet continue to get up daily going to a place that we are sick of. We continue to maintain a status quo in a life of convenience and comfort. We maintain connections with people, places and things that don't fulfill us. Why?!
Fear of what people might think or say about us. Fear of not meeting expectations that other set for us. Ashamed to even say what it is that our heart truly desires. Do we even know what I hearts desire anymore? Do we know what it means to live life on our own terms? Do we know what happiness really is? Do we really know what life is? Do we know when enough is enough?!
I have heard so many people say that when they reached that moment of enough...they just simply QUIT. They quit jobs, quit mates, stopped going to places, quit answering calls, stopped answering questions, quit wasting time. Maybe they snapped!! They went to work one day and said," I am tired of this". They turned over and looked at their mate," there has got to be more than this". Or even said....I just am not filling fulfilled and need to do what really makes my heart smile. In that moment, that very moment, is when the AUTHENTIC switch switches on. That isn't the last time.
Every time, we say yes to our own happiness and not to pleasing someone else the light flickers brighter. Don't misunderstand me...being selfish and being self FUL are two different things. Being self FUL allows you to be good to yourself which in turn allows you to be your best for others. It is more about joy, an internal happiness, no matter what is going on around you...your heart is still happy. You are still moving forward in your personal best success.
When you are moving forward at your best it allows you to be better for those around you. It allows you to be a better mom, sister, friend, daughter, employee, employer or how ever many hats you wear. Have you reached your enough moment? When will you know? What do you do?

Stop trying to be strong for everyone because you have had ENOUGH of that!

Next Level

We have stepped into the New Year! How are you feeling? Have you been working out, exercising, and eating right or whatever your resolution was? Have you said so long to social medial or announced that you are deleting “friends”…lol that is funny to me. At the end of every year we all start making promises to ourselves then announcing them to the world, the resolution.  I have never really been big fan of announcing what I am about to do. I am more of a fan of the Nike slogan, Just Do It!  Or have you ready lost the zeal for the “promise” you made? Are you moving into the month still on task or did you dip? You know what dip is, betrayed yourself because that is what is what it is.

Why put off today what you can do tomorrow? That is what the procrastinator would say plus that is the wrong way to say it. I have heard it the wrong way for years. Ok, so let’s get this straight. You promise at the end of the year to do something at the beginning of the year BUT by mid-February you have gone back to business as usual? Think about that, I’ll wait! 

Many times these promises or resolutions are about superficial things that really don’t require a lot of effort anyway. I have rarely seen someone post or say I am going to be a better person or I am going to go back to my dreams. That would be pretty bold, don’t you think. The people reading and listening would think you are crazy. If you say that in the company of a bold negative person they might laugh then point out something you really should be working on, in their mind. 

I used to wonder why people didn’t stick to their resolution. Why every year they were saying New Year New Me but looking exactly the same, doing the same thing and ANNOUNCING the same slogan at the end of every year moving into the next year.  It occurred to me that I used to do it to!  I can say that I used to because I don’t.  I started wondering why in the world I make wait to make a promise to myself the end of the year for the next year.  Why not make the change or shift I knew was necessary when I realized it was necessary. WHY PUT OFF FOR TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY?  Then the other part was, I still wasn’t satisfied or fulfilled.  I know the rules, it takes 21 days to create a new good or bad habit. That just isn’t enough!

New Year Next Level became the way I lived my life.  What that meant is that went back to dreaming again.  I made the dreams my goals. At that point I didn’t have to announce to the world the COMMIMTMENT that I had made to myself. I didn’t have a point to prove. The thing that I discovered about many dreams is many of them are God given and they are your purpose.  I often think back to some of my accomplishment.  Some of them other people thought that I should have accomplished, so I did what I knew others wanted me to do.  The others were things that I dreamed of doing.

When I was in the third grade, I remember being asked what I wanted to do when I grow up. I said I wanted to travel the world writing after my children grew up. I have done WHOLE bunch of things between the third grade to the ripe old age of ____.  But when I put my finger on my happy points, my next level stuff came after I accomplished a dream. I have one grown child, almost grown then the last one is not far behind. That is a next level because that I dreamed of having children.  I have published 4 books, next level.  

Go back to your dreams!  Go all the back to your room at mama’s house or your grandma’s house.  The little person that wrote in journals, sang in the brush while looking in the mirror, built things but hid them under the bed.  Get those dreams out of the closet dust them off and try them back on.  Do they feel tight? Flex your muscle and stretch them.  It won’t feel comfortable until you make it a goal.

The real reasons why that we fail, I have failed before too, to maintain our resolutions is because we have forgotten to live our dreams out for whatever reason: fear, shame, concerned what others would think.  It is difficult to make a superficial promise and keep it when you can’t keep a commitment to your being.  Stop living the life of a zombie, doing the same thing, going the same places, connecting with the same people.  It is time to live a next level life and only YOU can create it!  Go back to your dreams! Don’t remember them? Start writing and remembering back when you had no responsibility or pressures to be anyone but who you are.  Place them on your priority list of goals. When you start living your dream, who you divinely created to be, your next level begins.  Your dreams are your heart’s desires.  God will give you the desires of your heart because He gave you the desires of your heart. Why in the world would a third grade me say that I want to travel and write after my children were grown.  

Stop existing and start living your dreams by making them your goals.  You won’t ever have to make another promise to yourself again about the New Year because your GOAL will have you on your Next Level everyday as long as you live.

Be Your Best Self EVERYDAY

Authentic Strength

Stay strong
Only the strong survive
          Those are the two phrases that come to mind about strength.  Who came up with these? Why? Does it mean that you always have to show strength or something is wrong, you won't be respected or as my teens would say....you are a lame.  Who determines your strength? What makes you strong? Why do others think that people that appear to be strong don't need anyone for support or ever feel weak? Hmmmm, interesting thought. I always appear strong and silent but I can be fragile, hurt, venerable.
          When I think about the woman that I grew up around, they had a strength...a silent strength, regal and royal.  Then came the Independence Movement. Women wanted to claim their VOICE.  Now sometimes I wonder are we talking too much to show just how powerful we are?  What came to mind is "real bad girls move in silence". Strength is not about power in the boardroom, boss bitch, holding in your pain in just to switch it for anger. Strength is love, kindness, tender, venerability.  When did we begin to change it up.  It is sadly at such a level that women are no longer soft or even seem to be nurturing.  I don't know how often I have heard women tell their sons," don't cry". Then within a small stretch of time they are upset because the "man" they are with shows little to no emotion.
          For generations women have developed their own ideas of what strength is, then there is even more of a divide ethnically.  I can't claim to know what other ethnicity of women consider strength because I have never been anything but who I am. I do know that there were several turns that have gotten women off task.
 Strength is calm, silent, diligent, patience, nurturing, helpful, unselfish, self-ful, resilience, vulnerability, integrity, self awareness, perseverance, empathy and of course operating in authenticity. Strength is knowing when to move and how to move with a sprinkle of humility to ask for help. Strength is the humming bird whose wings are moving so fast they are almost invisible.....it seems as you are going nowhere but if you take take a little time to breath or survey your progress you will notice. Stop and smell the roses girl! Enjoy your successes big and especially the small ones.  Give your dang self some dap!!! And here is your cyber high five from me on the STRENGTH!! <3