Ms.Independent vs Ms. Self Sufficient

I posted a few days ago on my Facebook page "Real men are NOT intimidated by a "self sufficient" woman."Thanks Bruce Lee for being truthful.  I hear "single" women screaming ....I'm independent, I'm independent that is why I am single a man is intimidated by ME. Sit down and SHAD UP. You are single because a REAL man is not gonna put up with the drama you bring.  A REAL man will protect his woman, fight for his woman, love his woman, hold his woman and laugh with his woman. In the mean time MS. INDEPENDENT can't  tolerate this man. She thinks he is weak, a punk, too nice.  She wants a THUG. When she gets a REAL man she can/will ruin him.  She wants a man to be in her life financially but wants him to sit down and close his mouth when it comes to valid input/insight in her life.  MS. INDEPENDENT is often in different "relationship" because she seems to think that she intimidates men.
  Let me quickly EDUCATE you...there is a difference in independent and self sufficient.  The difference is happiness. An independent woman has no focus and pessimistic, nothing is ever good or right. She is always complaining, there is always some other woman that is jealous or a hater, at least in her mind's eye.  She always has some piece of man around that she chose for some weak reason then she disrespects and demasculates him for a weaker reason....to make her feel better about who she THINKS she is or who she wants others to think she is.  She lacks self-esteem, purpose or goals.  she often adorns her exterior with "things" to cover
Ms./Mrs. SELF SUFFICIENT may or man not have a man at her side.  She doesn't always have to prove she is INDEPENDENT by announcing "I'm an independent woman" It is in her stride, her face, her confidence.  She WILL follow a man with a plan. She knows her value and so does he.  She is confident in who she is and strives to be better.  She recognizes her GREATNESS  and walks in it. A woman that is self sufficient doesn't need a man to be who she is.  She understands that in a relationship that she and her mate both have roles.  Where he is weak she is strong and where she is weak  he is strong.  They compliment eachother.

Life as WE know it

     December 21st the world ENDED....LOL  Well, if you are reading this, it probably didn't end for you. There is always some prediction that the world is going to end or coming to an end. It will, one day!  What would you do if you had 24 hours to live?

   The world didn't end. Your life didn't end.  Everyone that closed their bank accounts have put it back by now!  What would you do if you know you had 24 hours to live? Would you love more, go harder, do the things you have on that "secret" bucket list.  Would you spend those hours looking back over your life talking about would da, could da, should da?
     If you think about it, that is how most of us, generally.  Every day, we wake up and live our lives like little zombies.  We hit an event/affair  every once and a while....but really it is the same thing different day.  Aren't you tired of living this unfulfilled life, lifestyle?  Isn't there more to life than this?  When did we turn into such boring people? Life is more than just merely existing. Everyone will die but are we really LIVING?
     Have you heard the saying: life is wasted on the youth. Well, usually it a person well past their prime, living a lifestyle of nothingness and unfulfilled. I say dust off those dreams and make them come to life.The world DID end December but your new lifestyle starts TODAY. What are you gonna do?  This is your chance to live today like there is no tomorrow because as much as you believe that you will wake up....you might NOT.  Stop wallowing in what wasn't accomplished in the past, mistakes of the past, what you think you missed out on.
     Release your GREATNESS. You are great, you have special gifts and talents. There are things that only you can do.  Your smile could inspire someone. Your helping hand push someone to excel.  You have a purpose, release it and it will not only help other but it will help you.

Get YOUR life!!!

Friendship

    The thing most important after one's mate and children are friends! This is a topic that can go one way or another.  Some women will say sure they have plenty of friends, while others will be very specific and say that they have more male friends than female. When asked why there will be a variety of reasons but the ones that intrigue me the most are women are catty, women are jealous; other women want what I have.

     Yes, some of this is true but it isn’t true of all women.  Could these characteristic be ones that you pass on or label on other women because of some bad life experience or are these your personal character flaws?  Could this be the residual effects of your own personal insecurities?  Is this a legacy that you have inherited from grandmother, mother then pass down to your daughter? Is this the mental and verbal abuse of your spirit when you were a girl?
     Friendship is a connection where people are going the same direction either moving forward, moving backwards or just maintaining.  Friendship should be mutually beneficial to all parties involved.   Great advice, good listener, helpful, supportive, trustworthy, loyal, honest, respectful,dependable: these are qualities of a friend.  What prevents us from being good friends: jealously, self loathing, insecurities, selfish, narcissistic, low self-esteem and the list can go on?
    Do you know what friendship is?  Think on that, with that being said....do on to others as you want others to do on to you. What type of friend are you? Are you the type of person that you would be friends with? Are there some things that you are willing to change to become a better friend? Do you value your friendships?  Do you believe that your friendship is valuable or impacts your friend(s) positively or negatively?
      Friendships to change, grow and dissipate.  Sometimes the friends that we have no longer really "connect" for whatever reason.  It happens and there isn't a need to be upset about it, it is a part of life. It doesn't mean that your love has changed for this person.  It does mean that you could be going into different directions, life changes or whatever it is.  True friendship NEVER is gone, you will reconnect.
  This is a new year and everyone is saying that they are making improvements and changes. Why not make this one of those changes?


     
     

             

LOVE LIFE

          Christmas is in 5 days.  Then in 11 days the New Year will begin.  So many people, women, stress themselves out rushing here and there getting gift, fixing dinner and being around people they don’t really want to be around.  As the days inch closer and closer to the end of the old year and beginning of the New Year, then come the plans to go on a diet, lose weight, get a hobby something different from what you did the current year.  Thing is, it is always a NEW YEAR of doing the same old stuff.

    During the next few days I challenge you to think SERIOUSLY about what changes you would like to make in your life.  Not a resolution that you can change on a whim but a lifestyle change.  Maybe you need to get out more, read more or just try something different. 

     Originally I had scheduled a different dialog but the past few days in personal life and current events….I am finally starting to shake this sadness that I have been feeling.  In light of the recent massacre at the elementary school in Connecticut, the copycat that stabbed the kids in preschool, my daughter’s 8^th grade friend that hung herself all I can think about is LOVE LIFE.

     End this year loving yourself! That will but you in the practice for the New Year of loving YOURSELF. Look in the mirror find something that you like, love about yourself.  Think of something you would like to improve about yourself, your LIFESTYLE. A lifestyle change is permanent not like a resolution or a whim.  Think about a dream that you put some far in the back on you mind it has collected dust, pull it out and dust it off.  Try it on see if it still fits, if not try something else on.  Don’t live your life just moving from day to day.  Start waking up full of positive expectation and thankfulness.  There is someone that was born the same time as you that is no longer alive, that has use of their limb or even in their right mind.  There are some that are younger than you that will never get to live a life. Start giving yourself permission to LIVE!!! Say NO because you want to and not YES because of guilt or manipulation, it doesn’t mean you don’t love that person but it does mean that you love yourself MORE.  Laugh more, love more, hug more, and cry less.  You don’t want to live a full life, in age, but live a life of regrets, I wonder if, I would have, I could have, and I should have.

Your greatest VICTORIES are in your -->Future THINK BIG

LOVE LIFE

Independence At What Cost?

INDEPENDENT:

• ·         Not subject to control by others

• ·         Not requiring or relying on others

• ·         Showing a desire for freedom

• ·         Not relying on something else

                 Strong, smart, brave, pay my own bills, make my own decisions I don’t need NO man.  If I have heard that once, I heard that a million TIMES.  Independent is relative, meaning based on ones’ life experience.  To an 18 year old woman independence is not living under her mother’s rules and regulations but to a 30 year old woman independence is freedom, not subject to control by others, not requiring or relying on others.

Just a Little History

                The feminist movement (Women’s Movement, Women’s Liberation, or Women’s Lib) refers to a series of campaigns for reforms on issues such as reproductive rights, domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, women’s suffrage, sexual harassment and sexual violence.  This movement has been divided into 3 waves.  The first wave some women got the right to vote in 1918 and in 1925 ALL women got the right to vote.  The second wave (1960-1980) was when gender inequalities in law and culture were addressed. Then finally the third wave, in the early 1990s arose in response to the perceived failures of the second wave.

FAST FOWARD

                There is not so much of a glass ceiling for women.  There are women not only in the office around the country and world but they are running companies and taking care of home, mostly.   The woman IS the bread winner in many homes!  Often times this mutation of “The Independent” woman puts her and her family in a position that someone is missing out: the child (ren), spouse and the woman but not necessarily in that order.  Sometimes the woman is away from her children so much they are missing so many of the important things that ONLY a woman can provide to her child (ren).  So much so that the child (ren) are seeking other resources to fill or fuel their needs, cravings and yearning for what is missing.  That need, crave or yearn could be different per child but when you aren’t there to fulfill whatever it is….it can/will be filled by someone else and the same goes for your relationship with your mate.

Take a breather, relax and chill life is passing you by. Your children are getting older and your “man” is slowly slipping away because you are have put him pretty low on your priority list. Yeah, I know that you don’t need a man but it is nice to have one around to help you make decisions and support you…mentally and spiritually

Luke 9:25 New International Version

 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?

 So you have the nice car, nice home, jewelry, etc. PLUS, you have provided these things for yourself.  God has put you in a position to get STUFF.  Sure, you have worked and sacrificed to have it ALL but at what cost?



Looking for a Christmas Gift?
  Buy 1 hardcover copy of Game Recognize Game and get the e-book version FREE! Just my way of saying Thank You for ALL your support & Merry Christmas!

http://www.genojones.com

www.genojones.com

Geno Jones Website

Value

When you know your worth, you don't allow people to waste your time nor fill your space with NOTHINGNESS.  Your time is valuable. Your words are valuable. Your space is valuable. Your thoughts are valuable. Your feelings are valuable.
How many friends do you have that when the conversation ends you feel tired, drained, spent.  Maybe you haven't noticed it. I'll give you a minute....If you can’t think of who that friend is; guess what, if is you.
Learn to value YOURSELF. You will see that others will begin to realize your worth. Be nice to yourself. Say nice things to yourself. Treat yourself to something nice....shoes, a trip to the spa, mani/pedi, some quiet time to yourself.
Minimize wasted time. When that friend calls, you know who it, and begins to fill your space with negativity turn it positive. If you can't steer the conversation into a positive direction, wrap the conversation up.  Don't become the dumping ground for others to release what is going on with them. Don't all their STUFF to infiltrate, infuse and permeate your lifestyle. If the conversation is a dump fest, keep the conversation to a minimum.









Value your PERSONAL time and SPACE. Learn to use and invest  your time wisely.  Get a hobby, read a book, spend time with yourself.  Start by taking 30 minutes, 1 hour, a few hours, a few days.  Turn your phone off, begin to limit your media access...that is internet and text.  Begin to journal about yourself, speak who you are into existence.  DE stress and do a mental detox.
 
 Know your worth and begin to VALUE yourself
If you DARE !!!!
 Share how you intend to begin to value yourself


 INSTRUCTIONS FOR MENTAL DETOX
Thanks to Stylicia Bowden

 http://www.theinspirationalcorner.blogspot.com/2012/10/data-dumpmental-detox-101-10-lessons.html

Where my GIRLS at!

                                        


In the social sciences, the word "clique" is used to describe a group of 2 to 12 (averaging 5 or 6) "persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting".Interacting with cliques is part of normative social development regardless of gender, ethnicity, or popularity. Although cliques are most commonly studied during adolescence and middle childhood, they exist in all age groups.
Functionally, a clique is indistinguishable from an obedience-cult. Membership in a clique always requires the surrender of individuality

     I recently have been reading up on some things about girls/women and cliques.  I liked the definition above, best.  Another thing about should be included is the fact that ADULT women also participate in Cliques. These groups can be positive or negative influence in our lives. 
It is slowly becoming the silent killer of women.  In our struggle to prove our strength and independence, we have traded in kindness, love, compassion, dignity and respect for mean malicious and disrespect.  The trade off has allowed us to pass this broken legacy to our daughters.  Our daughters have learned to be mean and catty by watching us.  This is their understanding of a normal part of being a female.  They grow the seed that we have planted and plant the same seed into future generations.

TO BREAK THE CYCLE:
We must make a conscious effort validate ALL WOMEN, friend or not.  If we don’t make this effort we will continue to move in cliques of hostility, suspicion and pain.

             

·         Talking about each other

·         Fighting over men

·         Joining female gangs*common places* work, church, neighborhood.

·         Undermining each other

·         Competing against each other

·         Disrespecting boundaries

·         Crossing boundaries

·         Exploiting our friendship

It all begins within YOU!!!

Let's talk. 

See you next week