The Game Changer

                As the New Year begins to get closer, people start to think about how they intend to make improvements in their life: I will lose weight, I will work out, I will eat healthy, and I will go to church.  After the New Year starts, the gyms are full of people until the end of February.  That is when everything goes back to normal. The people that have made a choice to change their lifestyle get their gym back and the ones that made a temporary change are back at home on the couch watching TV.

                Getting to better is mind, body and spirit is a lifestyle that does not begin with just a few trips to the gym. It does not begin with a couple of healthy choices in your diet.  It begins with a mental shift.  In life, we have so many things that we go through. There are difficulties that are beyond our control.  There are times when we are the cause of the twist and turns of our roller coaster of life.  Things in life will change, that is a guarantee!  What will make you hold your course to your commitment to weight loss, working out, going back to school for that degree or whatever it is that you intend to accomplish is AUTHENTICITY.

                Authenticity IS genuineness, correctness, truthfulness.  Authenticity shines through with truthfulness to self.  The mental shift begins when one can be truthful to yourself.  Once this mental shift begins you will notice little things.  You may notice you have become more truthful to your lifestyle.  Things that you did before you might even realize you did not even like them so you stop doing them.  Things that you may have been afraid to try, you step out and do them.

                Your “swag” is different.  The changes that are occurring on the outside are now beginning to show up on the outside.  You will smile a little more; you know your REAL smile.  You laugh a lot more.  You are more pleasant to be around. Your conversation is different.  Your connections are different.  The concern that you have if people will like what you say or do will probably begin to dissipate. You will think more positive causing you to behave more positive.

                In order to produce a SUCCESSFUL change, it should start from the inside out.  Authenticity will give you a happiness that you have never experienced before. This happiness will translate into the best mother, sister, daughter, friend, girlfriend, wife, employee, employer, woman and person that you can be.  This happiness will provoke a lifestyle change. It will not seem to be so hard to stick to working out, change in diet, commitments to your personal success.  The New Year is just weeks away. It is time to make some decisions about what you want out of life because it is too short to live unfulfilled.  I challenge you to look deep within yourself and tell yourself the truth. Determine what makes you happy then go for it!  Commit to your personal happiness and your personal success.  That commitment will be the game changer for your successful lifestyle change.

Be Authentic, Be Happy,Be Blessed

LOVE LIVE

Thanksgiving "Season"

Today is Thanksgiving. The holiday season has started. I have always found it interesting that people seem "thankful" during the holiday season but not so much before. I have watched people post on Facebook...... Day  ??: I am thankful for.....

The holiday season seems like it is the only time family gets together unless there is a sickness or death. I find it strange that it seems to be the time that the homeless an less fortunate are thought about. This is the season that there are more death due to suicide. This is the time of the year were more people suffer from depression.

I am not exactly who made the decision to make a holiday season a time to be thankful. Giving thanks should be a lifestyle. Being grateful should be just as natural as breathing. Helping others is something to do because it is what we were born to do. It shouldn't only happen because it is the holiday.

EVERYDAY is a day of thanksgiving! Every day we should be thankful for the fact that we have opened our eyes and have another chance to do something for someone else.  It isn't because we have been so good or wonderful. Every morning we rise we are given new grace and new mercy. Now imagine if God chose to give us everything during the "holiday season"

Giving thanks allows room for more in the natural & supernatural realm. When you say thank you in the natural to other they receive and accept appreciation. You have gotten their attentions and they are more likely to help or do for you again. God moves that same way! When we give thanks He smiles. I imagine He says look at my child, what else can I do. When you make the sacrifice to give thanks when you are going through, you have really gotten His attention! 

Give thank in everything, not just for a "holiday season". 

Until next time

Be Happy

Be Authentic

Love Life

The State of Relationship

     In a time when so many women are complaining about the quality of men, what I find is the quality of women AIN'T all that either.  There is nothing wrong with being independent but when a man doesn't know where he fits in YOUR world, he is probably gonna step. Another thing, women seem to have a list of things that they want this man to have....but they AIN'T bringing not even half of what they are expecting the man to bring. That is a general statement. Another thing some "independent" women seem to think that when they get a man with some "stature", status or stuff that they have ARRIVED. That is HIS. These are general observations and of course do not reflect all women or the women that I am connected with. There is not a shortage of quality men or women. Women have unfortunately changed and some have lowered their standard to have a man, PERIOD. Some women are so independent they are ALONE.  Being a woman of standard requires you to set a standard and maintain it. As a women I believe it is very important for me to be fit mentally,physically, financially and spiritually.  I have no right to expect that the man in my life has all of those qualities and I am not bringing nothing but my body to the table. Yeah, I said it. Having your own personal happiness is important because in a relationship or not NOBODY can make you happy except YOU.
     For those of you that decided to continue reading....It is important to have a connection with who you are.  It is important to be fulfilled in your own personal space before you invite another person in. That means a mate and even having children. There isn't a thing that has been created that will MAKE you happy.  No amount of shoes, handbags, cars, homes or money can bring happiness.  So the state of relationship is all dependent on your own personal state of mind.  If you aren't happy with your lifestyle that can and will reflect in you exterior(appearance) and interior( emotions and mood).  This aura that presents itself and attracts what you give off.  The Law of Attraction is the belief that like attracts like and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts you can bring positive or negative results.  One could also relate this principle biblical,(Proverbs 18:21) Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Death and life speaks of positive and negative.
    The state of relationship starts with SELF! What you thing is just as important as what you say because what you think will eventually be said.  Think positively seems simple but is harder than you think.  Write affirmations and post them where you can see them daily.  Maybe you are struggling in school and close to graduation....get a graduation cap or Commencement Ceremony program and display it on a mirror.  You want to loose a little weight maybe put up a picture of you when you weighted less or even someone that you strive to get their size.  Start saying aloud who you are to fight the negativity in your head or even the negativity that other say.   Relate/connect to positive people.  Stop taking calls from negative influences, you would be surprised who your negative influences are. Don't be rude, start talking positive they will either fall off or jump on the positive bandwagon. Start reading positive things, do your research.
Total Law of Attraction by David Che~Amazon
Wanted:Womanhood by Trenace' Carter~  http://www.createspace.com/4086113 and via Kindle
How Love Got Started by Gwendolyn B. Frazier Elmore~  http://www.amazon.com/dp/0615833489/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk and via Kindle
The Power of Positive Thinking
Keys to Happiness
     Finally, start your day in a posture of gratitude! Consider, starting your night before your work week in expectation of an EXCELLENT week.  Start a ritual. Shower before bed then read something positive before you sleep. I am not going to tell you to take your tv out of your room. I didn't! Be cautious of what you watch before you sleep. Meditate/pray then shower before you start your day.  Your home should be your Queendom free from drama and clutter, your bedroom even more so.  Positive energy, positive people, positive thing create a POSITIVE State of Relationship!
Be Happy, Be Authentic, Love Live <3

Peace and Continued Blessings 

Much Love From a Queen to a Queen

How can you call yourself a bi*&h or a dime then consider yourself a queen?
The definition of QUEEN
1.a female sovereign or monarch.
2.the wife or consort of a king.
3.a woman, or something personified as a woman, that is foremost or preeminent in any respect
A queen is a lady. She behaves like royalty. Her high standard IS the standard. She doesn't have to say she is the queen. It is common knowledge. She doesn't have to tear down another woman for her to rise or shine. She accepts nothing less than the best. She talks of prosperity. She is prosperity. She helps others. She loves others and others love her. Stilettos, gym shoes, dress or jeans with a tee she has a special kind of swagger that she wears called confidence. She is treated like a queen by her KING. He appropriates her. He loves her confidence, her grind and her authenticity. He protects, supports and takes care of her. She values his insight and wisdom. He gives her honesty. She appreciates his guidance. She is cool with him taking charge. As a matter of fact, she delights in him handling things. So for you WANNA be QUEENS....put some clothes on and leave something to the imagination. Stop calling yourself a bit*h or a down grading yourself to a dime. Stop calling your "girl" a bi&*h and don't accept a MALE to call you a dime. Step out with confidence, looking good, smelling good and prepared to handle business. You don't have to talk about another woman negatively for your light to shine. Keep your mouth SHUT! When you talk speak words of purpose and positivity. Every MALE that complements you don't not have a real interest in you. Open your eyes, keep your lips zipped and shut your legs. A King is going to take the time to know you mind and spirit then as the relationship progresses your body. Stop giving your stuff away to every Tom and Harry with a d*&k then said he did you wrong when HE decides he is done with you. All men are not dogs! Your poor choices puts you in a cycle that is never ending with the same results. If you want a different result do something different.

Much Love from a Queen to a Queen

Be Happy, Be Authentic

WANTED WOMANHOOD was released August 1, just 30 days ago.  It has been exciting! I have had a few book signing and my first overseas sales.  I have had a radio interview. The first book I sold was to a MAN.  I would say that this has been the happiest that I have been in a long time.  I have started living in who I am created to be.  The only thing is......I really HATE my job!  It was just an ends to a means. I work, go to school, parent, write and now I am trying to establish a business.  Work leaves me so unfulfilled. Work is just that, WORK. Now that I have released my book work has become even more irritating than it was in the first place.  It is just a check. It is just a resource. I changed when I started writing. I felt free. I was more calm and even more pleasant to deal with.
What has changed? The fact that I have made the choice to BE AUTHENTIC, I have become happy.
      There are so many people in the world that are just unhappy. They are just living....getting up in the morning going to their job, doing for children, loved ones, eating the same meal.  Then you can't figure out why you are always bored. You are bored because you are going from station to stations with no highs, just a lifestyle of uneventful events. I have been there. I have been so deep in it that I didn't even smile. I smile a lot more now!
     So what does it take to get to this utopia?  Well, for me it took me letting go! I let go of what I thought others wanted from me and for me. I started investing time in myself.  When I started investing in me, my worth grew hence my value to others grew.  Who I am created to be has nothing to do with the mistakes I have made. I have made plenty. God hadn't changed his mind about what He wanted me to do. He hadn't changed his mind about who He wanted me to be.  I just had chosen not to accept it.  The fact that I had chosen not to accept it put me in a place of being unfulfilled.  It put me in a state of living station to station. I was just existing, taking up space.
     Getting to happy is a destination.  It is also a choice.  You can get up everyday, on purpose, happy.  You could also choose to just get up.  It is a blessing to wake up because everyone that started the same time as you won't end the same time as you. There are people that died without the chance to live in their purpose. They didn't figure out what their purpose was.  They didn't get the chance to be happy.  Being happy comes from a decision made daily to live your life like there is not tomorrow.  Being happy comes  from living AUTHENTIC. Living authentic comes out of telling the truth to yourself about your desires, faults and issues.  Living authentic requires you to be free to be who you are created to be.
Be Happy
Be Authentic

IT'S HERE!!!

 Wanted Womanhood

The Secretes to Living Your Authentic Life

I hadn't blogged in a while because I had been pretty busy with school, work, being a parent and writing my 1st book. I have completed my book and I have officially released a limited edition. For the first 50 that tweet, fb, instagram, or email you I will send you a discount code. The rules of the discount code are to have some integrity and only use the code once. Don't pass it on to your friends. Once I reach the 50 codes and 50 purchased the discount will shut down.

https://www.createspace.com/4086113

twitter*QUEENSexycoco1
fb FANPAGE*Trenace' Carter
fb* Trenace (Tracey) Carter
instagram* 1authenticwoman
email* authenticwoman@live.com

GUEST BLOGGER *Stylicia Bowden~ You Deserve Love!!

I hadn't blogged  in a while. I haven't blogged because I am working on my presales for my book WANTED:Womanhood.  But I couldn't allow you to not get ANYTHING.  You guys have read my guest blogger. Her is one of her recent blogs.

CHECK IT OUT!!

You Deserve Love!

Often times people never embrace love because they believe they never deserve it. ~Stylicia~

 

 

 

It has been a little while since I have written on my blog however, life can sometimes be consuming but in my consumed state growth was happening. I learned some important life lessons that have challenged me and made me a better woman. In the last five months I have noticed a difference  in myself and recognize the woman I am becoming daily. I realize in my growth process I was confronted with the issue of learning to no longer be scared of love. For so long I have been accustomed to dodging love, making excuses and believing I did not deserve to be loved. I spent many years believing I was not worthy of someone loving me because of my imperfections. Every romantic relationship I had ended up with me being alone; this was never the picture I painted or fantasized about. However, this year I got tired of doing love my way and told God I would give my love life and dating life over to him. I made a decision to focus more on my dreams and aspirations to live my life more abundantly. I am a firm believer you can have it all the career, the man and the prosperity but it will mean patience is defintely required for the journey. Once I made a decision to stop looking for love and let love find me I became a happier soul. In my journey of living life abundantly I realized today I was no longer scared to love, the fear of love was no longer a fear. I was no longer scared to be transparent or vulnerable and love the man that will be compatible for me.

 

I had to learn the truth about the power of loving myself unconditionally. When you understand that love is attracted to you because it is who you are then love will not be hard to attract. As the months slip by in 2013 I am becoming more aware of how beautiful love is and can be. As a woman I have learned the secret of attracting love from a man is learning to love yourself and treat yourself with respect and unconditional love. I never felt like love was as close to me as it is now in my life. I understand who is the ultimate source of love---God. God is love. Love is fulfilling and incredible when you understand its power, its virtue and how much you deserve love. I started to affirm myself by being aware of how much I needed to love myself before anyone else could love me. Today, I challenge you to look at love differently and challenge your love walk for yourself. Do you love you for all of who you are..whether good or bad? What are the negative things you are saying to yourself about love? Do you fear love? If you answered Yes to any of these questions today is the day you tell yourself "I Deserve Love". It's time to break up with the false fearful image of love and affirm to yourself boldly: "I am love, I deserve love, I will not rush, force, manipulate or be deseparate or needy for love. I will be patient with love and prepare myself for love by loving myself first." The best example of love is godly love when Jesus died on the cross for you. Understand love is patient, kind, and all other things 1 Corinthians chapter 13 discusses. It is time for you to get a better realtionship with love by understanding you deserve to be loved.

 

 

Love Yourself First Then Love Can Love On You.....

 

Personal Challenge: Write Yourself a love letter!

Different Kind of Swagg

     The past few months I have been going through some changes.  Yeah, things in life change. Some things that are way beyond my control.  I have always heard that women start coming into their own in their 30s.  I believe that.  What I also believe is that a woman doesn't really come into her own until she begins to walk in who she was created to be.
     I have had some major changes in my life and lifestyle the past few years; a move to another state, two major break up, change in job, a different church and now completing my book.  These changes have shaped me just like my life previous to those changes shaped me. I would say that the more recent years have pushed me more in the direction of who I am created to be.
     I notice I smile a little more. I laugh a lot more.  I live a lot more. My walk is different. My conversation is different. My connections are different.  I am different.  I have started living the life that I said that I would live as a little girl in the third grade.  When my children got grown and gone I will write and travel.  I have decided NOT to wait until they are grown and gone.
     My first book release in a few weeks and I have another book project that I am currently brainstorming.  I realized to be my AUTHENTIC SELF, the woman that I was created to be, that it is my purpose in life is to SACRIFICE AND SERVE.  With the understanding that my life is not about myself, in order for me to be fulfilled living my life it is important for me to do what I was created to do.
     What will happen if I don't do what I was created to do?  The people that I am suppose to help will suffer and the people that they will help will suffer and so on.  The funny thing is that since I have become aware of who I am created to be, I have a different kind of swag

Priceless Woman

    I was so blessed by a Woman's Fellowship that I attended at my church on Friday. It took the Virtuous Woman to a different level, for me.  I have been studying Proverbs 31:10-31 for more than a year.  I know you are probably thinking why so long.  Every time that I dug in I was able to pull something new.  This woman was thebomb.com.   She was: an entrepreneur, a caregiver,  mother, wife, owned things.  This woman was something serious!!  She took care of her help and she gave to the less fortunate. She took care of her children and her husband. It was interesting to me that they understood her value and worth, therefore they appreciated her.  What I didn't pull from my study is SERVICE and SACRIFICE.  This what made the Virtuous Woman "price far above rubies".
    Take some time and think about some influential women....First Lady Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Princess Diana and the list goes on. These women are influence not because of money or power but because of  SERVICE and SACRIFICE. 
     A few days after that fellowship, I called one of my close friends and reminded her of her value.  That same day I text another friend that she is PRICELESS and I love her. She text me back. I am pretty sure that she didn't know what the entire message was about.  When we spoke, I explained to her why I sent that message.
     The thing is, sometimes you have to remind those that you connect with that you appreciate and value them.  Sometimes you have to remind your friend that she is valuable.  We are not taught that we are valuable, therefore it isn't uncommon for a woman to not have the understanding of her value or even that she is valuable.  We are not valuable to ourselves our value is to others.  We are the givers of life.  We bring a smile to our children's face. We bring joy to our mates heart.
     How is my value diminished? My value is diminished every time I am disrespected. My value has nothing really to do with me it has more to do with the person that is interacting with me. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Does that make sense?   I can diminish my own value or worth if I lower my standards. I have marketed myself down, discounted myself.  Simply put, value is diminished when you put a 2.5 million dollar mansion in the middle of the projects.
     When you aren't living the life that you are created to live then your value isn't the same.  We were all created for a purpose! What were you created to do? What will happen if you don't accomplish what you were CREATED to do? THIS is your value and worth.  We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.  We are all created with special gifts and talents. What is will propel you into PRICELESS is how you choose to....

  Sacrifice and Serve

   

Messy

  In this new part of my journey, I speak often about cleaning up your mess.  I make mention of being messy and fake.  Well, I am going to share something emotional and even scary.  This past weekend I was working on my book, almost complete. 
   In my journey through Womanhood, I have hurt people although unintentional.  That is because I was hurt, insecure and inadequacy. I chose to adorn my self with many thing, mostly a false sense of SWAG. Hair, nails, clothes, shoes even the way that I walked and talked was used to cover up all of the things that I didn't want anyone to know about me.  I am talented,smart. I can do anything, unfortunately, because of my insecurities, hurts and inadequacy I never completed anything. I could incomplete the hell out of anything. I have learned that I was fearful of succeeding. Stupid,huh.
   In 2008, I moved to Charlestons,SC to be with the man that I thought that I would spend the rest of my life with, Adrian.  Six months after moving here, on his birthday he broke up with me.  Still in 2009 and 2010 I was still hurt and missed him. We kind of tried to work things out but I still had my issues. Just another example of me starting something that I didn't complete.  I got into another relationship,Jay. A whirlwind, the chemistry, connection and emotion took me by surprise.  It actually took us both by surprise.  Three weeks into us dating he said he was looking for a wife. Six weeks into the relationship he wanted to know if I had thought about spending the rest of HIS life with him. He was 10 years older. After 4 months of dating, NOT mating(no sex) , he asked me to be with him exclusively.  He wanted me to have a child and I was willing to consider having this man's child. Alas, because I was incomplete on the previous relationship...I got an incomplete on this one.
   So back to the emotional scary thing.  I have learned that I have to apologize for what I have done wrong and thank the person for what they meant to me.  This past weekend I sent a text to Adrian.  I really wasn't sure how it was gonna go but I had to make a mends in my heart.I I text that I really appreciated him in my life, thank you.  Although it didn't work out I accept my responsibility.  He text he was sorry and thank you...he should have handled us better.  I cried. I cried like a big baby.  I was able to speak my heart. Two days we text. I don't know how he felt but I know I was happy and sad.  Towards the end, to me, it was comfortable. I felt FREE.
   Next, I text Johnathan. He didn't respond at all but that is typical...lol He was a hokie pokie personality. Not the kind of man that I was used to being with.  He had good qualities but he had things that I didn't particularly care for.  Then I called my younger two children's dad.  That was a mistake.  Sometimes when cleaning up your mess the person that you are trying to clear your mess with doesn't want to let it go. That is THEIR issue.  So finally, to clean up my relationship mess, I am going to call Jay.  I am not really prepared for that but I wasn't prepared for Adrian either.
    You have to do some hard things to move forward to your newness.  I don't want to sweep anything under the rug anymore.  I don't want to just shove my mess in the closet and force it close and hope that my stuff doesn't come tumbling out.  I have finally gotten so tired of incomplete that I have decided to complete.
  So stop adorning yourself with STUFF to cover up your mess. Fix your mess and to become who your were created to be.

 

*GUEST BLOGGER* Rochelle Richards

The Importance of Believing in Yourself

In today's world, many of us  are taking stock of our lives and making choices daily. We look at where we are, where we came from and where we thought we'd be by now. Many of us are in professions we never thought we'd be in; in relationships (or out of)  we thought would turn out differently and some are losing faith and hope in all the dreams they have for themselves. Now don't get me wrong, in no way am I excluding myself because I'm human and I too have dreams yet to be fulfilled.

I came across this article by chance while checking a page on Facebook of a high school classmate of mine. The link caught my attention, because the first line simply said.. " Never underestimate what's in store for you. Here are nine ways to believe in your greater purpose ". So being curious, I clicked the link, read the article and loved it . I simply had to share the positiveness with others.. Here they are :)

Nine Ways to Keep Believing

Identify Your Values

What do you live for? It’s hard to know where you’re going unless you know who you are. Identify and prioritize your values. It’ll be clearer to you what you need in life (and therefore, what’s most important) opposed to what you simply want.

Train Your Belief System

Everything you will have in your life will come about because of your belief that they’re possible. The first step to training your belief system is to use affirmations. Affirmations like “Why am I so confident? Why do I believe in myself? Why do I trust my intuition?” are empowering questions that focus your mind on why you are, in fact, confident.

Watch Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

It’s one of the most inspirational speeches I’ve watched on having faith in your purpose. This video is a different kind of soul food!

 Be Bold

It’s important to realize that no one has ever fallen while stepping out on faith. I think about this single point daily.

Toughen Your Skin

No one ever succeeds without being rejected (many times). Expect to hear the word “no” time after time, and you’ll be ready to overcome, time after time.

Accept Compliments

This is critical towards bolstering your self-esteem, which is an imperative part of stepping into your purpose. Next time someone gives you a compliment, resist the urge to dismiss it, or think to yourself that the person didn’t mean it. Instead, imagine it is true, and you might just find that it is.

Surround Yourself With People Who Believe In You

Jim Rohn says you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – he has a point. The common denominator I find in people who excel is that they surround themselves with folks who not only excel in their own right but believe in the potential of their friends.

Fake It Until You Make It

This begins with simply speaking confidently and assertively (even if you you’re not). By simply speaking in a strong manner, you will see you have greater control over your ability to influence. As a result, your actual confidence will grow.

Force Yourself Into the Habit of Believing

Some people are born with an innate self-confidence, but most of us are not that lucky. It’s a good thing we can teach ourselves new habits. Most experts agree it only takes 30 days to change your behavior. Just like a good exercise program, use the suggestions I gave to map out over the next 30 days what you will do daily to boost your “belief muscle.”

 If anyone wants to read the full article, here's the link: http://www.essence.com/2012/03/02/believe-in-yourself-and-your-plan/. I  hope this entry will help motivate others into being more positive, knowing that once they continue to believe in themselves and in their dreams, all that is needed is hard work and dedication to achieve them. Be motivated to keep on being elevated!


Look for Rochelle Richards book coming SOON


Check out MORE Blogs by Rochelle Richards
http://orrchidslines.blogspot.com/

* GUEST BLOGGER* Stylicia Bowden

Born "Alpha", Woman That Is!

I know who I am, I embrace who I am and who I am is what I accept; no validation needed. ~Stylicia~

Its has been almost two years since I threw away the carbon copy of who I thought I was and traded it in for the unadulterated woman God created me to be. In this journey I have learn so much about myself and realized the authentic me had to emerge. I lived my life for years being a fake, pleasing other people because of my insecurities. In 2011, I got an epiphany and have not been the same ever since.  My circle of friends have changed and I realize this road to authenticity can be lonely when you start dancing to the own beat of your drum. In the first two months of 2013 the revelation of myself started to go deeper when I went on a 30 day soul detox. The big reveal was that I am not an ordinary woman but extraordinary woman. God created me with unique characteristics that I did not want to embrace. Have you ever asked God, "Why did you make me this way?" The simple answer is God loves me just the way I am and does not mind being patient with me to tame or deliver the things that will harm my success. So yesterday in deep conversation with a dear friend I brought up "The Alpha Woman". I told her we are Alpha Women, born to be this way. You may ask me, "Stylicia, what exactly is an Alpha Woman?" After intense research on the Alpha Woman I have complied a list of some characteristics that make me or you an Alpha Woman. Let's look deeper and embrace this "Alpha Woman" phenom.

The Unveiling Of The Alpha Woman : Characteristics

Characteristic #1: The Alpha Woman is Confident. She knows what she wants and go for it. Go Getter Mentality

Characteristic #2: The Alpha Woman is Independent. She believes in pushing her own weight and making things happen for herself.

Characteristic #3: The Alpha Woman is Purpose Driven. She knows her purpose in life and everyday she sets a target to fulfill her goals.

Characteristic #4: The Alpha Woman is aware of her power. She uses her feminine power to lead in a positive light. She is subtle and like the finer things in life.

Characteristic #5: The Alpha Woman is classy. She is wrapped in all things elegant.

Characteristic #6: The Alpha Woman is a trendsetter. She inspires people through her words, her style, and most of all through her presence.

Characteristic #7: The Alpha Woman does not have to demand respect, respect automatically follows her; everywhere she goes.

Characteristic #8: The Alpha Woman can sometimes be demanding. She lives her life on auto inspire & auto make a difference. She is out to change the world.
Characteristic #9 The Alpha Woman is confident.
Characteristic #10 The Alpha Woman is authentic.
Characteristic #11: The Alpha Woman is intellectual. She loves to gain knowledge through educating herself for the next big takeover.
Characteristic #12: The Alpha Woman is unique. She never tries to blend in because she knows her worth and she knows she is an original. No one can imitate her.

Does this sound like you? Well if so, join the bandwagon I AM AN ALPHA WOMAN, TOO! Embrace who you are, allow God to perfect it and balance you out. Never be ashamed of who you are be that "Alpha Woman" you were born to be!

Examples of Alpha Women:

1) Beyonce

2) Oprah Winfrey

3) First Lady Michelle Obama

4) Tyra Banks

5) Jada Pinkett
6) Alicia Keys
7) Queen Latifah
8) Angela Bassett
9) Mary J Blige 

Stylicia Bowden is a self published Author of several book

The Inspirational Corner

Soulseeker

All About Him: The Experience

The Writer's Block

The Princess Within: The Soul of a Woman 

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The Break-UP

    It is time for me to say good bye.  I know that you are thinking to yourself, why.  All I can think is, WHY NOT?!  Remaining connected to you serves me, NO purpose at all.  There are things that I have to do that won't allow me to stay connected to you.  You are holding me back from being the Woman, Mother, Author, Friend,Daughter, Sister and Wife that I can be, that I was created to be. For many years, you and I have had this on again off again love/hate relationship. Our highs have really been high but when we are low, whew, we were low. I don't believe that you will just leave on your own. So, I have made the decision that I am leaving YOU!!!
     This morning I woke up with a smile on a my face and joy in my heart. I giggled in delight when I turned over and I didn't see your twisted ugly face. Good morning Sunshine is what you used to say as I would turn over and put my pillow on my face. Oh, God I don't want to get up! Aww, ish I don't feel like this today. What the eff....do I really have to. TODAY, today is a different day.
    My feet hit the floor and my eyes twinkled. I mouthed Thank you Father. I said good morning to my children and as they went down the stairs to leave for school,"I love you have a good day son", "I love you have a good day sweet girl"
     As I sit in the kitchen having a drink of orange juice, I begin to wonder what took me so long to leave you. What was holding me back? I thought about all the times that I started things and didn't finish. I started school three times...didn't complete. This time I graduate in December. The book that I started years ago. Mah, that didn't count because I was bitter writing that. My "real" book is about to be released. The relationships that I messed up, incomplete and failed.  All the times I put up a wall to protect myself. Was I protecting myself or was I hiding. Hiding from what people would think about me. Maybe more fearful of what I would show them about me.
  I go back upstairs to get ready for work.  I look in the mirror and I smile...I had to cheat on my FEARS to get the strength to break up with my DOUBTS. Now that I am  Engaged To my FAITH & Married  to my DREAMS. I can see myself for who I truly am. My Authentic self, the way that God created me!

MUAAAAH

Mother isn't always right

     A little girl sits in the kitchen as her mother cooks Sunday dinner. Her eyes are full of wonderment and mind is full of questions.  Mama, she says, why do you cut the end of the hamhock before you put it in the pot. The mother looks puzzled, she doesn't know why. Well baby, I don't know. Grandma does it. I will call her and find out. The mother calls Grandma, her mother,and asks why does she cut the end of the hamhock before she puts it in the pot.  Grandma says...I don't know Daughter, my mother used to do the same thing.  Grandma calls her mother and asks..Mother, why do you cut the end of the hamhock before you put it in the pot.  Granny answers," I cut the end of the hamhock so that it will fit in the pot".  The moral of this story is we are doing things and we don't really know why we are doing them.
     For three generations the same thing was done without question and without a reason for two of the three generations.  Many times we do things because we have seen it done without reason, more times than we are willing to admit.  Many times we accept advice and information just because of who it comes from. Without the knowledge that the information, insight or advice is correct, given without bias, without ill intent or without bitterness.  The sources...cousins, girlfriends and MAMA.
    Yeah, I said it....MAMA.  Just because Mama said it doesn't make it right.  That is something that I have been coming to terms with because I am a mother, I have a mother and a had a grandmother and a great grandmother.  There have been behaviors, phrases and thoughts passed down through out the generations good, bad and indifferent.
     I watched my mother work and take care of her children to the best of her ability. I watched my grandmother be a good wife to a husband that she married and because a mother to his 7 children. I listened to the humors wisdom  of my great grandmother.  I watched how they interacted with eachother and with others.
     The one thing that I remember and always maintain from my grandmother is that a lady must be a lady at all times. That meant and still means to maintain appropriate behavior in public places.  My great grandmother always has something funny to say to explain something, usually it was somethings from her past. The story of how  she was nosy and her grandmother, a midwife, told her that she carried the babies to the mothers in the black bag that she carried. When she looked she didn't find the baby. She then went back and to her she didn't find the baby, her grandmother told her that she kept the baby in a wood stump. She went to a wood stump to pull out a baby and pulled out a black snake, a coach whip.
     This particular blog was more difficult and controversial than Ms. Independent vs Ms. Self-Sufficient because even more women are less willing to accept or admit that Mama or Grandma could be wrong about something.  It doesn't mean that they love you any less but what it does mean that you have to look at their mentor ship with critical eye.
    Grandma may have had children but never married she may be biased or even bitter about men.  She just might not be the one to ask advice about men.  She might have passed this down to Mama.  You might have seen Mama be independent and strong with no man in her life. What Mama said was the law!! No man told her what to do, less more suggested. Mama taught you to be smart and get an education. Mama also sold you on a dream about a night and shining amour, yet, mama is dissecting every ill that a man may have done to her in her life. Her first boyfriend, her last boyfriend and maybe even your father.  All men cheat and lie, men are no good, all men are dogs.
      As an adult woman you have to decipher this mess.  You have to make some decisions about what is right and what is wrong? What to accept and what not to accept? As a mother, you have to make a decision....do you tell your daughter one thing and show her something else?  Example: Smoking is bad for you is what you tell your daughter but she is with you when you purchase cigarettes or even has watched you smoke. Example: Wait until you are married to have sex but there are different men in and out of your home/bedroom.
     DON'T accept that because Mama said it that it is ALWAYS right because it isn't.  Analyze where it comes from based on what you know about Mama.  Has she had some experience that has made her bitter or soured her.  We learn lessons  from our life experiences and our surroundings, family. Good, bad and indifferent we have learned many lessons mother, our caregiver.  We make choices to do as we saw, "it was good enough for Mother it is good enough for me". We make choices," I didn't like how that was done...I won't to that"
    I implore you to make a decision!  Just because mother said it doesn't make it RIGHT.