Emotional Bully

 

It has done to all of us at any given time in our lives as children or as adults. We might even be experiencing it now. It can be done by anyone including those we love, honor and respect most: mother, father, sister, brother, aunt and friends.  It really hurts when those we care the most about aren't supportive, are negative and consistently derogatory. What could I possibly be talking about.....EMOTIONAL BULLIES.

 Domestic abuse is a behavior or pattern that involves violence  or other abuse by one person against another in domestic situations,marriage or cohabitation.

The entire month of October is Domestic Abuse Awareness month. We know exactly what that means as well as have empathy for the victims. What is often ignored is emotional bullying.  Emotional bullying occurs often, but oddly enough we never relate domestic abuse less more emotional abuse to start in the home.  Parents do it to children. I call them dream killers.

• You aren't smart enough for that

• How successful will that be for you as an adult

• I think that is a brilliant idea*sarcastic tone

Children become hurt, fearful, then can victimize others at school.  When children see these abuses at home as a norm it desensitizes them.  What is abnormal to most of society becomes normal.  As our children become adult they have absorbed or even grown the seed of emotional bullying. As a matter of fact become quite good at it. 
This is where domestic abuse and emotional bullying begin.  No one just wakes up and decides that they want to be the victim or the abuser.  Emotional bullying is the one that is ignored most. Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you. That is one of the largest untruths that I have heard about this type of abuse.

As I sit in the middle of my bed typing, this is really hard to even touch this topic. What is even more hurtful is that the victims of this emotional bullying deal with it but keep moving through life like nothing has happened. I have listened to many of my sister friends stories of emotional bullying that they have endured.  Often I wonder why! Why do you accept it? Why do you stay? Why do you not fight back? Why? Why? Why? I don't understand!  I will never understand!
You are nothing.What you do is not special
Do this or else I am leaving
You are such a lier
Your contribution is small
There are others but you get the gist of what I am conveying.  Then after the brigade of  disrespect and belittling the abuser has the victim on the ropes discombobulated and an emotional wreck. The abuser is now feeling good! In the mean time the victim is left hurting. 
The emotional bully can be a friend. You accept what she says as,"aww, that is just how she is."  It can be a parent. It can even be a spouse.  Whomever it is, they are often dismissed as this is just how they are yet you continue to endure the hurt, heartache, abuse and pain. 
How you deal with it differs, but it will require mental toughness.  It does require you to dig deep.  It will require you to move people out of your inner circle if they are the offenders and move different people in. GET YOURSELF SOME NEW PEOPLE!!  You will pray more. My secret was and still is PROVERBS 31:10-31
Yeah, I know.....you have read this enough times you know it by heart! But I got some revelation about the Proverbs woman. This chick is OFF THE CHAIN!! She is a smart business woman, respected, loved and cherished by the people that are around her. She is vibrant and alive. She is KNOWS her worth. She is 1 Authentic Woman. So are YOU!!
Be Your Best Self EVERYDAY!!